Filthy Little Prankster
by TheLittlestRaindrop
Summary: After falling victim to Hange's practical joke, Levi feels the need to clean himself. Hange is determined to make him even dirtier.
1. World's Filthiest Shower

'Come on, Shorty, lighten up! It was only a joke!' Hange tries to reason with a very wet, VERY irate Levi. 'It's not like anyone else saw what happened. Your pride is still intact.' Hange smiles nervously at him.

Levi glares at the Squad Leader. He can't believe someone so smart could be so immature! Putting a bucket of water over a slightly ajar door and waiting for him to walk in and get drenched was a stupid idea! 'My pride isn't the issue, Shitty Glasses, it's your shitty pranks!' Levi crosses his arms in frustration. He knows there's no point looking for an apology, but he'd still like one anyway.

'Come on, Levi. It was just some harmless fun! You can do the same to me if you'd like! Go on, get me wet!' Hange hands him the bucket, gesturing that he should take it.

He rolls his eyes at her, but on the inside his mind fights a war; he has to bite his tongue to stop himself saying 'I know a much better way to get to wet'.

Levi has been struggling with his growing attraction towards the Hange for months now. It had started small at first; finding endearment in her crazy shenanigans, thinking how nice her hair looked when she actually washed it, practically drooling over the perfect curve of her ass in those tight jeans of hers… Levi had all but suppressed his carnal urges since he liked the Underground, trying to find more meaningful things to think about. However, Hange had reawakened his lust, and it was becoming problematic; it wasn't easy to hide a hard-on in a Military Uniform like his.

Levi doesn't take the bucket. 'Whatever, I'm gonna take a shower. Fuck knows where that water has been!' He storms off, leaving Hange to giggle to herself.

Hange is totally oblivious of Levi's feelings towards her. Sure she thinks Levi is a remarkably handsome man; she had eyes, even if she does need glasses. But then again, practically everyone thinks that he was attractive, even the ones who also think he's a surly bastard who cleans too much. The cleaning part is true, but Hange sees something more. Something that was worth exploring.

Unfortunately, Hange's past romantic experiences hadn't been great… one guy even thought she was a man! She's well aware that her breasts aren't the biggest but come on? That had knocked her confidence big time. Hell, she was even somewhat convinced that Levi thought she was a guy. 'Would explain why he talks to me like an equal rather than a woman. Most people here don't extend the same courtesy.' Hange thinks to herself.

Hange looks down at the bucket in her hands; yes her prank was childish, but at least it got him to talk to her a little. She feels pathetic, resorting to such juvenile tactics to get his attention, but it's all she feels she can do. It's like when boys tease girls in the school playground. She's beginning to think her situation is hopeless, when a thought strikes; 'if I can't confess my feelings in word form, I'll just have to use my whole body! Of course!' With that, Hange tosses the bucket to one side and chases after Levi. She's going to give him a shower he'll never forgot.

Levi strips quickly, putting his clothes on his washing pile in a neat pile; there was no way he was wearing those disgusting things again. Picking out clean clothes and a town from a small chest of draws next to his bed, he heads toward the bathroom adjacent to the room. It was a nice perk, having his own bathroom; gave him ample opportunity to pleasure himself. His little disagreement with Hange has left him frustrated in more ways than one, and now is the only time he'll get to work on his frustration before tonight.

He turns the shower on, and sets it to a decent temperature before immersing himself in it; if it was too cold, his erection would suffer greatly.

Before pleasure himself, he grabs a bar of soap and starts to scrub himself. He rubs it across his neck and shoulders before starting on his armpits. The first one is scrubbed without issue, but as he's working on the second, the soap flies from his hands. He's just about to turn around and locate it, when he hears something that almost gives him a heart attack.

'Let me get that for you.'

He tenses up; how the fuck did Hange get in here without his knowledge?!

He's about to turn around and ask her, when he feels her hands on his body. She scrubs his body, picking up where he left off. She's surprisingly methodical as she cleans his chest, embracing him from behind as she cleans him. He can feel her nipples against his back, and it's enough to make him even harder.

He feels her fall to her knees. She cleans his ass as best she can before moving into his legs. She ignores his erection, and he begins to think this whole thing is just a weird way of her proving that she knows how to wash properly. However, that theory is dashed when she asks him to turn around

He finds it beyond arousing, seeing Hange on her knees in front of him. Her glasses are off, and her hair is flowing freely. Levi can't help but think she's beautiful. Then she speaks, and it almost makes Levi ejaculate without any form of psychical stimulation.

'You know, it's good for a clean freak like you to get dirty sometimes. It can even be fun. Take that dick of yours, for example. I can clean it with this bar of soap, or you can put it in this filthy mouth of mine. Which do you want?' She was seriously asking him if he wanted a blowjob? What happened to the Hange pulling stupid pranks?

Levi wasn't about to look a gift Hange in the mouth however; he was about to fuck her mouth instead. He grabs her hair and steps forward, and she opens her mouth in preparation of what she's sure is a request to get dirty. He slides himself inside, and is instantly greeted by a warm wetness that makes his head spin.

She starts to work her head up and down his length, and he tries not to thrust into her mouth just yet; better to let her get used to it.

Hange is having none of that, though. She wants to see him lose all control. She relaxes her muscles, and somehow manages to fit most of his dick down his throat. He groans, a signal that his internal battle is lost. Sure enough, he begins fucking her mouth, and Hange practically purrs in delight at having broken him.

She brings a hand up to play with his balls, and find them starting to harder indeed her touch; she realises he's very close.

Sure enough, it only takes a few more thrusts before he releases into her mouth. He keeps thrusting as he climaxes, and Hange takes care to swallow as much of his seed as possible. When he withdraws from her mouth, she proceeds to lick off any cum she missed, Levi watching her with a mixture of exhaustion and pure lust.

Before he can ask her what the hell just happened, she stands up and leaves the shower, but not before saying 'I'm sorry about me little joke. If I do anything to piss you off in the future, please be sure to let me make it up to you like this again. I can thank you in other ways too; just let me know what'll make it better, okay?' He notices she blushing slightly, but his head is spinning in confusion.

What the fuck just happened?!


	2. Night Time Tea Time

A whole week passes before the incident is mentioned again. That's mostly deliberate on Levi's part; he's been avoiding Hange as much as possible lately. He doesn't want to admit it, but that one little tryst in the shower was the best thing to happen to him in a long time. After all, how often does the woman you admire appear from no where and start to suck your cock? Not even in his most shameful fantasies could he ever have imagine such a thing, but there it was; the only question is how did he feel about it?

Levi is the first to admit he's not the best with his emotions. Years of having to repress his emotions have taken their tole, to the point he's not even sure what to feel anymore. Sure, Shitty Glasses was hot, but was that as far as it went? Levi was exhausted from the mental war he was fighting with himself. He knows one thing for sure though; he certainly wouldn't mind a repeat performance.

Hange looks up at the clock on her desk. 2am. She'd gotten lost in her paperwork again. Rubbing her eyes slightly, she puts all her papers in a messy stack and heads for the kitchen, deciding to have a cup of tea before retiring for the evening.

As she enters the mess hall (which just so happens to be the only way to get to the kitchen) she sees something she isn't expecting, and it makes her gasp; there's a dark figure camped in the corner.

Hange approaches the figure as casually as possible, trying to regain her composure and act like her jovial self again. 'Hello there! I see I'm not the only one who has a craving for tea in the middle of the night. Mind if I join you?' Hange is even more shaken when she finally realised who it is.

'Not like I could stop you anyway, Shitty Glasses.'

Hange tries not to get flustered, but she can feel the blood rushing to her face. Why him? Why now? She knows he's been avoiding her, and she can't say that she blames him; if he'd come in to her shower and eaten her out, she'd be just as reluctant to converse with him.

Levi notices her blushing, so decides to break the ice a little. 'Tsk, go get your tea then. We need to talk about last week anyhow.' Hange nods, her mind fleeing her body and forcing it to go into autopilot. She doesn't know how she managed to make her tea without burning herself, but she's remarkably unscathed by the time she sit me down opposite Levi.

They both stare at each other, both of them reluctant to discus what had transpired between them. It's Levi who finally talks, and his words shock Hange a little.

'So, how would you like me to fuck you for real this time?'

Levi internally kicks himself. That's not what he had intended to say at all. He was supposed to say 'would you like us to start seeing each other?' But no, his shitty mind just had to say that instead.

He sees Hange's eyes widen, and he fears he's made a huge mistake. The last thing he wants is to scare her off, after all. To his surprise, Hange merely starts drinking her tea. Levi follows suit, trying to keep quiet this time. He knows anything he says now will just make the situation worse; better to let Hange speak.

They've both finished their tea by the time Hange finally responds. 'You wanna do it here, or take it elsewhere? I have to say, I find the idea of public sex rather thrilling, but if you're uncomfortable we can go back to my room.' As a show of willingness, Hange begins to undo her belt straps and unbutton her top.

Levi is shocked, and for once it shows on his face; his mind has been kicked into overdrive, and so has his crotch. He rises from he seat and marches over to Hange, grabbing the open sides of her shirt and pulling up into a bruising kiss. Levi feels Hange's tongue push against his lips and decides to respond in kind; their tongues engage in a battle for dominance. Hange thinks she has the upper hand, until Levi manages to slide his hand into her underwear. The sudden rush of stimulation is enough to distract her from the kiss, giving Levi the opportunity to dominate the situation.

Levi's free hand unbuttons Hange's shirt the rest of the way. Once she's exposed, the hand heads straight for a nipple. Hange starts to moan, her sounds stifled by Levi's tongue. The hand in her underwear starts to rub her clit, and Levi can feel her body twitch lightly in response. Knowing it'll take more than a quick rub to prepare Hange for his cock, he sticks his middle finger inside of her. His ministrations thus far have made her wet enough to take it with very little resistance. Hange disconnects from his mouth, throwing her head back in pleasure. Levi latches his mouth onto the junction between her neck and shoulders, and Hange has to brace herself on the table to keep from collapsing.

Feeling her tighten around him, Levi adds his ring finger to her, and starts to use his thumb to rub her clit again.

Hange starts calling his name as she climaxes, nails digging into the wood of the table. The feeling of her clamping around his fingers is almost enough to make Levi finish without any physical stimulation at all, but him manages to stave off orgasm somehow; years of practice and some limited experience with women before he joined the Survey Corps have served him well it seems.

When he feel Hange's twitching stop, he withdraws completely. He's about to ask if she's still up for it, before she surprises him yet again. She turns around, yanks her jeans and her underwear down and bends over the table. She looks at him over her shoulder. 'Your turn, Shorty. Don't keep me waiting.' She winks at him.

Levi gives her ass a playful smack before freeing himself from his trousers. He's not exactly comfortable with public nudity, so he only exposes what he'll need for the task at hand; namely his almost painful erection. He wastes no time, entering Hange quickly and forcefully.

He sets an almost brutal pace, his sexual need and emotional frustration merging together into pure carnal need. He knows he won't last long enough to make her climax again, but he doesn't think she cares; she didn't finish at all last time after all. Something in his mind tells him that experiencing someone else's pleasure was even more important than experiencing her own. He thinks it's her natural obsession with experiments that makes her feel like that; observing and recording the thoughts and feelings of her test subjects was an important part of research after all. His thrusts falter a bit. Is that all this is? An experiment?!

He doesn't have time to think it though however, as his body overrules all the thoughts in his head; his orgasm hits him without him realising how close he was. He continues to thrust his way forwards, releasing himself inside of a moaning Hange, who really seems to be enjoying herself.

Once he's finished, he withdraws from her swiftly, and tucks himself back into his uniform. He waits for Hange to redress, hoping to talk things through with her. Before he gets the chance however, she kisses him on the cheek before saying 'Good talk. Should do it again soon.' and leaving the room.

Levi stares at the door for a while, cursing his lack of social skills once again. 'Next time,' he thinks 'I will get the chance to talk it through with her!'

He just hopes next time comes sooner rather than later.


	3. Third Time Lucky

Two days have passed now, and Hange is getting twitchy. This time, it's her avoiding Levi, but not on purpose; she's been wrapped up in an experiment, as usual. The write up for this one was just taking her a little longer; Hange has barely left her office at all since her tryst with Levi in the mess hall.

It's probably just as well she has been so busy; she still has no idea what to say to Levi. It had come as a bit of a shock when he propositioned her the other night, but it was preferable to having to speak with him. How is she supposed to explain that she's fallen for him?! He wasn't the most open with his feelings, after all. Hange had been picking her brains for so long, trying to find a way to confess her feelings for him whist giving herself room to backtrack if necessary. She didn't want to ruin their friendship after all.

All her thinking has zapped her will to work, and she about to retire for the evening when she hears a knock at the door. Assuming it to be Moblit, she opens the door, only to be greeted by the sight of Levi, a tray of tea balancing in his arms.

'We need to talk, Hange. For real this time.'

Levi makes his way into her office and sets the tray down on her desk, carefully avoiding her paperwork. Whilst he pours them both tea, Hange fetches a spare chair for Levi from the other side of the room. Tea made and chairs placed opposite each other, they both take a seat.

The room is silent as Levi tries to collect his thoughts. After everything that's happened between them, Levi has finally reached a conclusion; he wants Hange, and not just in a psychical sense (although he certainly wanted that side of things too.) The only thing that's stopping him from asking her to be his lover is that one thought from their last meeting tugging at his resolve and refusing to dissipate. What if this really was an experiment to her? She'd done some crazy shit in the past, and there was nothing to say that this wasn't just some weird adrenaline fix for her. Hadn't she said she found the thought of public sex 'thrilling'?

Deciding that he needs to know right now if this is just an experiment to her, Levi asks her a question. 'So, is your little experiment concluded, or do you still need your test subject?' Shit, that's not right. He was supposed to ask her outright if that's what he was to her. Was he fucking stupid?!

Hange looks hurt by his statement, and two conflicting emotions bubble to the surface at the same time; on the one hand, he hates to see Hange in pain. On the other hand however, if she's hurt by what he said, does that mean he's wrong? That this isn't an experiment?

A single tear falls from her face as she answers him. 'This was never an experiment, Levi. I… I like you, okay? I thought we could be more than friends and/or tormentors. I just didn't know how to tell you. I was afraid that if I approached you, you'd push me away, and we'd lose the relationship we currently have. So I acted physically, and hoped you'd get the message. Guess I was wrong.' Hange makes to stand, about to run to her quarters. Levi stops her by grabbing her arm. He coaxes her to sit, and notices that that single tear has turned into a flood.

He doesn't know what to do; he's never had to comfort a crying woman before. When he lived with Isabel, he had Farlan to deal with that shit for him. He's too afraid to speak, because he knows he'll only make it worse. So he does the only other thing he can think of; he learns forwards and kisses her deeply. Hange tenses, and Levi is afraid that he's fucked up after all. His fears are pushed aside when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his neck.

Hange leaves her chair to straddle his lap, trying to maintain the kiss as she moves. When she's in position, her hands start pawing at his torso. Taking the hint, Levi removes his cravat and starts unbuttoning his shirt. Impatient, Hange starts pushing his shirt off before he's fully unbuttoned it. When he's finally free of it, Hange throws it to a random corner of the room, much to Levi's displeasure. He can't complain however, as Hange starts to remove her top too.

The kiss breaks briefly, and Levi takes this moment to speak. 'For the record, Hange, if you'd just told me straight I wouldn't have pushed you away. Can't really complain about your alternative though.' Her shirt is finally removed, and Levi lunges at her breasts, attacking one of her nipples with his mouth. Hange's moan of pleasure is obscene, and it spurs him further, and he starts to nibble on her lightly.

He continues like this for a while, alternating between breasts until both nipples are painfully hard and glistening with his saliva. Under any other circumstances he'd find it disgusting, but this wasn't any other circumstance; this was him and Hange, and that made everything else unimportant by comparison.

Eventually, he feels her grinding forcefully against his groin, and decides he's done with foreplay. He tackles her to the ground, trying to cushion her head as they fell. Levi makes quick work of their remaining clothing, tossing it in the general direction of their shirts. Hange spreads her legs in anticipation. Levi's about to enter her when he has a devious though. He grins menacingly at Hange, who seems equal parts scared and turned on by his expression. Levi's thought is quite simple; if Hange can sneak into the shower and duck his dick, what was stopping him from eating her out? It was only fair after all.

He gets his face into position, watching Hange's expression as she tries to figure out what he's planning. It finally dawns on her as he starts lapping in-between her folds. She lets out a gasp, and he starts eating her out in earnest, burrowing his tongue inside of her. He moves a hand up to stroke her clit, and her legs twitch in response.

He continues his ministrations until he feels her clamp down on his tongue, and decides he really can't take it anymore; he needs her now. Moving up to hover over her, he kisses her as he enters her. She cries out, but the sound is muffled by the kiss. He begins fucking her slowly but forcefully, desperately trying to bring her to orgasm before he loses it himself. He doesn't think he'll manage to last that long, far too turned on by playing with her. It seems all that foreplay has affected her too though, and she falls apart under him, triggering his own climax. He whispers her name in her ear like a prayer, and he hugs him to his chest as their orgasms subside.

Hange continues to hold Levi to her chest, feeling him soften inside her. They remain like this for a while, neither one of them willing to move. Eventually, Levi speaks. 'So, glad we cleared things up.' Hange giggles softly out of fondness for his lack of social skills. Levi finds himself chuckling a bit too. Hange is about to suggest they move rooms, but Levi manages to beat her to it, in his own special way.

'I love you and all, Shitty Glasses, but there's no way in hell I'm sleeping on this filthy ass floor with you!'


End file.
